Paul, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Paul works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Paul never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Paul takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Paul is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Paul can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Paul be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.
*Project Leader
A SUBSEQUENT MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE ABOVE LETTER:
That Idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly read ONLY the odd numbered
lines (1,3, 5, etc...) for my true assessment of him.
Regards.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh yeah. We have an ladmin named Paul. He provides NT admin
support for one of the product groups. We have split responsibility
for managing IPs within the corporate intranet. I basically have
the 10.2 subnet and we have all the 'actual' corporate stuff on 10.1.
Since we maintain the development environment (read servers), most of
those need to be in 10.1 and most need to have static IPs (can't have
the SQL or Oracle servers popping up with a different IP without
warning!
I generally just request a block of IPs from my counterpart and assign
them as needed.
Last week MIS decided to rewire the floor wiring closet (we have a
single
link into 10.1 there) and of course the lab was one they disconnected.
I came in the next morning to find this Paul about to change IPs on his
group's machine because something was 'wrong'. I slapped him upside the
head and immediately changed the admin password. Bastiche.
He's the same guy, come to think of it, who decided to install some 3rd
party telnetd on one of his machine and hosed it up so bad I had to
rebuild
it, then complained that we had 'broken' _his_ server.
Another for the _paul_ files...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When discussing the ramifications of Paul-ness, we must first look at the origin of the One True Paul, and ascertain if he is merely a bystander or actively infecting other Pauls.
Posit: That Paul Mamamamam exists in a vacuum.
There is no evidence that Paul Mamamama is an actual living
person, we must first look at the facts:
While he is a moron, his moron-ness fluctuates from the
merely idiotic to the truly staggering brainless. A computer or robot
would have to be extremely advanced in order to exhibit this level of
wavering.
While existence of Paul itself is limited to various
random posts to NTSYSadmin, existence of his company has been confirmed
by a web site -- for if it is on the web, it must be so.
A computer would not willingly use the term "homey."
Therefore, we can safely assume that Paul Mamamam is an actual living person. Since no human can live in a vacuum, we must assume that he does not exists in a vacuum, and can therefore act and be acted upon by his environment. However, a vacuum may indeed exist inside of Paul Mamaamamamam (namely, inside his head).
Posit: That Paul Mamamama can indeed act upon his environment.
While one might be able to take the existence of the
Mad-Techies, and understand why, we are actually not proof that Paul
Mamamamama can act upon his environment; but instead proof that several
people want to ram an axe through his brain, by way of his rectum. This
is, strictly speaking, not relevant to this discussion, but bears
mentioning anyway, because it makes Sherry happy.
However, there are several instances of posts by Paul
Mamamamamamama to NTSYSAdmin, and several instances of Mad-Techies,
Admins, and L-admins replying to Paul Mamammammamaa's "questions".
Since there is no reaction without an initial action, we can therefore
assume that Paul Mamamamamma can act upon his environment. The
Environment would like an axe, please.
Posit: That Paul Mamamamama is responsible for the various and sundry
Pauls on NTSYSAdmin.
This writer cannot confirm or deny the existence of any Pauls
other than those on NTSYSAdmin and, incidentally, Paul Buckman.
Therefore:
1) All Pauls (except for Paul Buckman) exist within the
confines of NTSYSAdmin, and
B) Helen Hunt is a Hoddie.
This Posit then proves that Paul Mamamamama is responsible for all the
Pauls on NTSYSAdmin. Since this writer believes it impossible that Paul
Mamamamaamma has the technical skills to create all these various and
sundry Pauls, and get them all subscribed correctly to NTSYSAdmin, the
writer must therefore assume that having the first name of Paul must
also carry with it some sort of congenital defect -- perhaps created by
Von Neumann machines created by Bill Gates, in his every expanding quest
to control the known universe, even though he cannot get his 40-Million
dollar house to function properly.
Therefore, all Pauls on NTSYSAdmin are, by definition, microserf drones.
Since, again, the existence of Pauls outside of NTSYSAdmin cannot be
confirmed (except for Paul Buckman (Helen Hunt is a Hoddie in Twister,
too)), the posit that all Pauls are idiots named Paul, whether we know
them or not (stupidity, thy name is Paul).